You hang up the phone with your Dad and realize he just doesn’t see you.
He doesn’t get who you are, what you believe in, or what you are creating.
The politics he subscribes to feels painful, and his advice, while graciously received, seems to be from another era.
You are evolving at a fast pace, which is making holiday meals a little more tense and painfully disconnected. It seems as though you only have two choices; fight to be heard or hide behind your cocktail while mindlessly nodding at the friendly banter.
Whether you want to speak up about a change in career, a new relationship, your opinions on a matter or the entire direction of your life, if you would like to feel accepted and loved, then you will need one valuable skill. Just as superfoods can help improve your health, this one skill can lower stress, improve connection and create better alignment.
The One Skill You Need to Transform Your Life
To change any single area of our lives takes commitment and dedication and it doesn’t hurt to have skills that inform and mold the path ahead.
Over years of facilitating transformation, one skill has presented itself as the most valuable and essential for creating lasting change.
Through the traditional channels of scholastic achievement, we typically do not receive specific educational training on transformative communication for positive change. Most of the communication techniques we learn through traditional education focus on creating an argument to persuade for the sake of winning.
When we are communicating, specifically with loved ones, there are many relationship dynamics present in these conversations that differ from a less interpersonal conversation such as in a business or educational setting. To be effective at communication with our loved ones, we have to understand what is at stake and the underlying fears that are often unspoken but do still exist.
The primary fear is being shunned by the group, followed by the fear of being seen as different, and the overarching basic fear of not being loved and accepted.
These fears aren’t always conscious or readily acknowledged, but they are at the heart of all interpersonal personal conversations. In fact, it is these very fears that will halt one’s personal transformation or cause us not to fully embrace our unique perspective.
Seven Steps to Transform Communication
Transforming any area of our life begins with effective communication. There are seven steps to having a powerful conversation for change. The Alignment Conversation sets the stage for healthy communication with loved ones, creates a win-win situation for everyone, and helps lessen the fear that is part and parcel to “change”.
Consider using the seven steps in The Alignment Conversation blueprint:
1. Take responsibility
Start off by owning your side of the road. Where have you been holding back and not showing up authentically?
2. Share what you are releasing
Are you releasing resentment, being afraid or blaming someone else?
3. Share what you are creating
Are you creating more joy, greater confidence or courage?
4. Paint the future
Allow your imagination to paint the details of the future with your loved one. Share the details of your vision.
5. How they can win
How does your vision for the future benefit them? Will you be more loving, present or kind?
6. How you can support them
What are their secret dreams and desires?
What are you grateful for in this conversation?
This technique will create a greater sense of safety in communication and a foundation of respect and truth. It also keeps us from waiting to communicate, which often causes emotional outbursts and drama that is unproductive and even damaging.
Our own internal dialogue and the way we communicate with others is foundational to the joy and fulfillment we experience in life. Finding common ground with others, communicating honestly, and shifting our perspectives is the best path towards feeling empowered as we transform our lives.
I am Shanna Lee, a southern Californian girl, an intuitive healer and a Business catalyst. I am an alchemist in the lives of many people who are waking up. I guide people to access inner guidance and heal their soul frequency to create a powerpact life.